Keepers of the Gift That Stops giving.What Makes Virginity a Big Deal?
Keepers of the gift that stops giving…What makes virginity a big deal?
What makes virginity a big deal?
When younger…Fear, NOT of God, but of public ridicule and rejection kept me a virgin.
I also saw myself as being less “valuable” if i were to trade in this “gift”.
Once gone, that mind set did not disappear, i still saw sex as a commodity in the relationship. I would withhold or give depending on my esteem (my esteem being based on how DESIRABLE i was). Personally, I wish my mother had taught me self worth instead of religious fear.
This one time act is a distant memory, not painful or endearing…it is one.
However, now that I know my worth…i’m even MORE careful to make sure that i enter into a physical act with a person i care about….so that i can really let loose…knowing that it is only ONE aspect of the relationship.
I don’t see the point of waiting for marriage, as i have seen many young people rush into commitment, only to being a slow let down process as sexually immature prisoners.
While I do plan to teach my daughter to wait…i wont stress marriage. . . just physical and emotional maturity. I don’t plan to bribe her with a false sense of worth or an ultimatum with God.
Your thoughts.
tradition = human sacrifice
a virigin could also have heart disease, diabetes, hep a b and c, etc.
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Traditional views on chastity can be a factor.
There’s still many people who believe that sharing your body with the one you marry alone is a special gift, and by giving it away easily you’re “damaged goods”.
Plus, sex is very addicting (something they don’t teach in sex-ed curriculums in junior high) and it can cause a whole host of problems once someone gets sexually active.
the alternative has a less satifactory outcome for the entire universe especially the one with the vagina/semen receptacle
“i still saw sex as a commodity in the relationship. ”
wow… it that all sex is ?
I think you have a good grip on the situation. I would give you my thoughts, but you know them already. Keep doing what you’re doing, I think your daughter will be fine.
Well thought out and expressed. The way you say it, there really is no question to answer. You answered it.
personally I can care less about that.
in my opinion its a worthless concept with no real life value.
it’s considered a big deal because it’s your First Time… something you haven’t experienced before… a genie that hasn’t been let out of the bottle.
Some people fear it, they want to save it up, giving that experience to someone who really cares about them… not flitted away or spent on some five minute encounter. It’s a romantic idea, to give yourself to someone, to expose yourself to something so new in the arms of someone who truly and deeply cares for you.
And from another standpoint, you can never go back to Not having done it before. After doing it your first time, either as a guy or girl, it is another experience that has been “done”.
There is also alot of pressure to make the First Time the most memorable, no matter what you believe, because it’s your first experience with sex and (supposedly) you’ll always remember it.
It’s a remnant of a time when women were considered property.
A non virgin was considered damaged goods and fetched a lower price.
Self respect. People these days need self respect for themselves a little more rather than “giving” yourself to any male female, whatever comes your way because you have dated for a month.
The big deal is to be as clean as possible: No STDs.
Less chance of a virgin to have a STDs. A person with any history of sexual activity “could” be a host of a STD. (Male or female)
I told my children that I knew for a fact that waiting to experience sex with the person that you truly loved was better than anything that you could imagine, but that I understood that they had too much of me and their mother in them not to experiment.
I told them to always use precautions, be safe, and always treat any sexual partner with respect. If you always do those things and maintain that attitude, sex is wonderful and you will be losing nothing but a little piece of skin.
you have it backwards….self worth =having love with the sex….your mom taught you well but you are twisting it and this isnt about you here….for probs see friends
you wont stress marriage??? big mistake…let her make her own decisions but stress love with the sex….
When I was a teen I heard someone say from the pulpit “I would rather my daughter die if she is ***** than to live not a virgin” That is the kind of stuff they preached. Virginity is special…because you can only give it away one time. ONE person/occasion thats it. But if it is taken from you it is not the end of your salvation. I want my child to live.
BUT, I have seen christians get married to have sex because sex outside the church was forbidden and they were *****. I have seen kids get married to make “an accident” “right”. LIke you, Im teaching my kids that sex is very private and prescious. Im not teaching them that it is an unforgivable sin or an abomination before GOd. And Im certainly not encouraging them to ever get married because they had sex or want to.
Be sure and tell her that there’s a 99.9% chance that the first person she has sex with will not be her last…or her love for life….so don’t even expect it. Tell her the facts. Don’t let her live in the clouds about romantic love. Don’t let love destroy her.
I am pretty close to your thoughts on the matter. I think people should wait for sex until they have the emotional maturity to handle the relationship like rational adults, and accept the possible responsibilities that could be the outcome of sexual relations.
If both parties are not prepared for the commitment to raise and support a potentially resulting child, then you are not prepared to have sex. If either person is only responding to physical attraction without love and respect for their partner, then you are not prepared to have sex. I do agree marriage is not always a necessary part of the formula, but I certainly think personal responsibility should be.
I hope this helps.
I’m sure your body and emotions are of more value than your words would imply. What is wrong with self-control? I am a Christian, but it’s more than that, I feel it’s such a precious part of yourself, you don’t give it to someone when you haven’t made the commitment of marriage. I’m not against sex, I love hand-holding, kissing,caressing, and I love sex, but even more than I would love to experience these things right now, I want to be able to have a relationship where I can experience them forever.