What Makes Virginity a Big Deal?
When younger…Fear, NOT of God, but of public ridicule and rejection kept me a virgin.
I also saw myself as being less “valuable” if i were to trade in this “gift”.
Once gone, that mind set did not disappear, i still saw sex as a commodity in the relationship. I would withhold or give depending on my esteem (my esteem being based on how DESIRABLE i was). Personally, I wish my mother had taught me self worth instead of religious fear.
This one time act is a distant memory, not painful or endearing…it is one.
However, now that I know my worth…i’m even MORE careful to make sure that i enter into a physical act with a person i care about….so that i can really let loose…knowing that it is only ONE aspect of the relationship.
I don’t see the point of waiting for marriage, as i have seen many young people rush into commitment, only to being a slow let down process as sexually immature prisoners.
While I do plan to teach my daughter to wait…i wont stress marriage. . . just physical and emotional maturity. I don’t plan to bribe her with a false sense of worth or an ultimatum with God.
Your thoughts.
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Society does.
i feel parents and self put the “value on it” by apply moral into youth!
nothing more nothing less
most peopledon’t know how to raise someone to do as they wish with out the fear factor!
do’nt do this or i will ***** you! sound familiar most partents do this!
instead of encourageing good behavor!
see i just wish my mother the golden one who says she pushed ecducation on me if she would of sat with me when i was little and helped me with english/grammar/ and spelling my post wouldnt look like a jr hi student! LOL
she didnt so know i have to fix it on my terms and it takes a long while!
but i’m improving!
The fact that subsequent men would rightly see you as irresponsibly wielding your responsibility to the children that sex could produce.
Telling one to wait until marriage is often setting the teens up for failure. They feel they’ve “failed” if they have sex before marriage and are less likely to be sexually safe and prepared. With marriage ages moving back and back (now mid to late twenties), its insane to expect individuals to wait until their almost thirty to have sex for the first time.
That said, I think parents should teach their children to be sexually responsible–which doesn’t mean just safe sex. They should teach their children the emotional effects of sex as well and that they should be mature and emotionally ready. Having sex at an early age is never a good thing–teens should wait until they’re a bit older and more mature.
Its just sex get over it
Isn’t it the same thing? It is said that God said to wait for the wedding night so that women would not be taken advantage of and would be sure of theirs and their partner’s worth.
So it is an ultimatum but one beneficial for women, don’t you think? Also I personally think that if you understand your worth, then saying “I’m waiting for marriage” isn’t such a big deal since you will be confident enough, will feel worthy enough to ask someone to wait for you.
And “physical and emotional maturity”? These days kids, no matter how childlish they are, believe they are ready for sex at 11! They give BJs in the school’s bathrooms ! So I wouldn’t stress that, it could lead to a disaster!!
Religion and society put a big thing on virginity because casual sex can and has had bad effects on society. Illigitmate children, disease, low self esteem and the list can go on and on. While the 1 time act of sex to remove the virginity is silly, I do feel sex should be saved, preferably for marriage, for that someone VERY special in your life, no every boyfriend/girlfriend u have in high school,or that relationship that lasts 2 weeks. We all feel “in love” with many that we date, but that fades so quickly. Sex is the ultimate bonding and trust one can give another, so why toss it around so easily?
You know…if it were for BOTH genders, I could almost see the point.
But young men are encouraged to do the “wild thing”, up to the Eve of their wedding….which might mean the first gift they give their virgin bride could be an STD. NOT the way to begin married life.
The day I see people pushing it for all, I’ll give it a thought.
The whole virginity thing dates back to times when men wanted to make sure that the women they essentially owned only produced children by them (the men). They didn’t want to support other men’s children.
Now, women have control (to a great extent) over whether they get pregnant or not. They also are no longer chattel, and are able to own property (rather than be it) and provide for themselves, without being fully dependent on a man for their and their children’s survival.
Kinda makes the whole thing really outdated eh?
Good question. If you are looking for like, real facts and history there have been a slew of books written on the subject; check out Amazon.com or the library….
I dont’ see the point either… but then I’m not religious.